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Joke of the Day

"Seven days without Mexican food.... Makes Juan weak."

"Do you remember that creepy girl who stood behind you on a train 6 years ago and was smelling your hair? Hi!"

"You know how light travels faster than sound? Thats why some people seem bright until they speak."

"CAR GPS: turn left PHONE GPS: turn right C: who was that? ME: just a friend P: just a friend? ME: wait C: make an illegal U-turn ME: babe"

"""Nice legs"" *Swipes right* ""Nice legs"" *Swipes right* ""Nice legs"" *Swipes right* ""Nice legs"" *Swipes right* - Spider tinder"

"What did Rouge say just before murdering Crimison? Hue hue hue"

"Do you know what moth balls smell like? How did you get their tiny legs apart?"

"Did you hear about what happened when the anime studio tried to make a sex-ed video? Kids kept getting confused about why the octopus was showing up."

"Forgot to tie my bikini top back before I stood up from sunbathing on the beach. Now I know how to get help carrying my chairs to the car."

"This town's government... ""This town's government is excellent and spends your tax dollars efficiently."""