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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a tin can that's done with High School? A graduated cylinder!"
Next Joke
"So, two muffins are sitting in an oven.... So two muffins are sitting in an oven and one says to the other, ""Man, its hot in here."" The other muffin replied, ""OH MY GOSH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"""
"What's the hardest part about eating a Vegetable? putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done."
"How do you make a hormone? Refuse to pay."
"I tried to buy a Christmas tree to put in my shed. I couldn't find one anywhere. They were all non - shed."
"[Toothpaste Laboratory] Dentist 1: Yes Dentist 2: Yes Dentist 3: Yes Dentist 4: Yes Dentist 5: Not so fast..."
"Treating testicular cancer.. takes balls."
"ah, mercury's going retrograde, that explains why i accidentally squandered my entire youth"
"I went to the library and asked for a book on Pavlov's dog and Shrodinger's Cat The librarian said ""That rings a bell but I don't know if it's here or not."""
"ME: need help? GIRL (having car trouble): could u give me a jump ME (inflating the bounce house I keep in my trunk): I thought u'd never ask"