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Joke of the Day

"Church: Follow Jesus. Me: Does he follow back? Church: .. Me: .. Church: .. Me: Shoutout for shoutout??"

"What do you call a dead fowl that is haunting you? A Poltergeese!"

"My wife wanted me to buy something that goes to 200 in one second flat. So I bought her a bathroom scale."

"I sold my homing pigeon 8 times last month on eBay."

"George W Bush kept us safe just like how abstinence education kept Bristol Palin unpregnant."

"Did you know gullible came from ancient Greek? The prefix 'gulli' meaning 'believing' and the suffix 'ble' meaning 'ble-shit'."

"Did you guys hear the joke about the stunt man's flame? It was retarded"

"I think I'm going to start taking helium People are speaking very highly of it."

"Two scientists walk into a bar The first one says ""I'd like a beer"" And the second says, ""I'd like rum"" They didn't wanna get H20. They were in flint."

"God wouldn't have made children so short if he didn't want you to fart in their faces."