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Joke of the Day

"How is it that my kids can never find their own shoes but... Easily find the one ice cream sandwich I hid behind the peas in the freezer."

"Girl, are you the New Deal? Because I can feel my infrastructure expanding."

"Today I opened the door to the supply room and four Japanese guys jumped out and yelled ""supplies!"""

"My dick is so big that a JPEG picture of it cannot be stored in a FAT formatted drive."

"Leonardo's Solution to ""The Da Vinci Code"" ""Sibble. Stay id bed, dreeg pluddy ub fludes, taig eggstra Zinc ed Vidabid-C."""

"I lost my wife a year ago today. Sadly, within four days I won her back."

"What did Hellen Keller not see when she fell? ..... the floor"

"What do you call a nurse with flat knees? The ""head"" nurse."

"Weed is better than beer because with weed the ugly chick stays ugly."

"What's worse than ants in your pants? ...uncles"