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Joke of the Day

"Couple trolling A couple is sitting on the porch sipping wine. The wife says ""I love you"". The husband says ""Is that you or the wine talking?"". The wife replies ""It's me, talking to the wine""..."

"What did the spy say at the glass beach? *The coast is clear*"

"When life hands you melons... You might be dyslexic."

"I have found that there are three kinds of people; Those who can count and those who can't."

"Watched Avatar again and long story short, can you untie my ponytail from this horse?"

"What do burgers think when they are surrounded by gherkins? They think they are in a pickle."

"Why did the chicken run around screaming? Because he had to use the bathroom."

"[Sees restaurant is packed] *Pays hostess $20 to read note* ""Attn patrons there is a vintage yard sale across the street"" *Hipsters clear*"

"What do you call a guy who wants to join the mile high club by himself? A high-jacker."

"Apparently this Walmart cashier only brushes her favorite teeth."