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Joke of the Day

"Just complained to my girlfriend that my iPhone battery wasn't lasting more than 2 hours & it dawned on me that I'm white & totally spoiled."

"How do you call unexpected pregnancy in German? Kinder Surprise"

"Why is mustard gas so dangerous? Because it was used in World War One to kill people."

"All I want to know is why Antonio Banderas' hair has been wet for 20 years."

"When do you know that you are getting old? When you have babies on purpose"

"What's the definition of endless love? Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis."

"What's a cops favorite TV show? Justified"

"If you're not part of the solution... ... you are part of precipitate."

"What do you get when Philip Glass breaks? John Cage."

"Turquoise is the best colour. It's been cyantifically proven."