172871

Joke of the Day

"What does a clock do when it's hungry? goes back four seconds.."

"I had a colonoscopy done the other day and I think it went really well... As I was walking out I overheard the nurses talking about me and I could hear one saying ""What an asshole!"""

"What do you call a notebook where you record information about your poops? Some people may call it a log journal, while others call it a diary-a."

"Sarcasm: confusing stupid people and pissing off idiots everywhere."

"Yo girl, are you my appendix? Because I don't really understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out."

"What does a taxidermist do for a living? Oh you know... stuff..."

"What did the aorta say to the inferior vena cava Your so vain"

"IF YOU KIDS DON'T COME BACK TO THIS TABLE AND FINISH YOUR LUNCH RIGHT NOW, I SWEAR I WILL SIGH HEAVILY, EAT IT MYSELF AND GAIN 3 POUNDS."

"Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and smell bad."

"What is the most common disease for lettuce? Icebergers."