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Joke of the Day

"A Massachusetts man was arrested for illegally keeping over 400 birds in his home. He tried to keep it a secret, but he couldn't keep the birds from tweeting about it."

"What did one penny say to the other penny? Come with me and we will make cents."

"Why do pirates like birthday parties? Doubloons."

"My favorite part of Zumba is mortgaging my house to pay the chiropractor."

"Why did the Golfer feel aladeen about his socks ? He had a hole in one."

"What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? A Milk Dud."

"Nike actually called me and asked me to stop doing it."

"I call my wife the iNag because she has 32GB of complaints and they're set on shuffle."

"[phone rings] Guy: is your refrigerator running? Me: yes my refrigerator is runn- Fridge [grabs phone]: hello? Yeah actually I do crossfit"

"Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Four one to change it and the other three to deny it."