172782

Joke of the Day

"TIL grizzly bears are not harmed by microwave radiation. In fact, they are one among several species of non-polar bear!"

Next Joke
 
"My wife left me due to my obsession for classical music.. I hope she takes me Bach"
"What's a dick's favorite song? You're so vein."
"What do you call a gigantic polar bear? Nothing you just run away!"
"Big news! Obama read my tweets and appointed me Secretary of Swagriculture"
"If you can recite the alphabet backwards to a police officer they will arrest you for fingering a minor."
"[On couch, notices it's 6pm] Luckily I don't have to pick up the kids from the Christmas party until 8. *Notices it's February* OH SHIT"
"Knock Knock Who's there ! B-4 ! B-4 who ? B-4 I freeze to death please open this door !"
"Ever check your Facebook early in the morning where you have to close one eye because the screen is too bright?"
"BILL CLINTON'S FAVORITE CARD GAME Q: What is Bill Clinton's favorite card game? A: Poker."