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Joke of the Day

"Pope Francis will bring a rabbi and a Muslim leader with him when he travels to the Holy Land this week. Or as bartenders put it, ""We've been expecting you."""

Next Joke
 
"*Holds an old lady's hand as I help her across the street* don't worry ma'am i'm sure the doctors can sew it back on"
"Saw this advert in a window... It said ""television for sale,$1,volume stuck on full"".I thought,""I can't turn that down"""
"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was getting me to date her."
"A wind turbine's friend asks him what music he likes Wind turbine: ""I'm a big metal fan."""
"Knock knock. Mailman."
"How do Germans tie their shoes? In little nazis"
"""Ok last interview question. Biggest weakness?"" ""People say I'm too hospitable."" ""I see. So should I stop sitting on your lap?"" ""Your call."""
"What do you call a Private Investigator who is bad at his job? A Defective!"
"What's the song that coldplay wrote for you? Yellow. *Phil answers phone*"