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Joke of the Day

"What do yeast and a redneck have in common? They're both usually found with beer and inbred. -&y (written by moi)"

"[slides briefcase of money across the counter] ""two big macs please"" [opens briefcase to reveal $7]"

"Did you hear about the guy who swam the English Channel with no arms or legs? They call him... *'clever dick!'*"

"I've been thinking about Oscar Pistorious's case... I don't think he's got a leg to stand on."

"What is the most romantic city in England? Loverpool!"

"Why doesn't Texas slide into the Gulf of Mexico? Because Oklahoma Sucks!"

"[febreze commercial Take 1] We've blindfolded Steve and brought him into this room where we brutally murdered his family a week ago to demonstrate the strong odor fighting power of Febreze"

"I got a bone to pick it's been stuck in my teeth for days"

"Little miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey... ...along came a spider that sat down beside her and said, ""what's in the bowl, bitch?"""

"I'm not saying don't trust the internet, but there's an alarming discrepancy in the number of Ipads I've won & the number of Ipads I own."