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Joke of the Day

"Adolf Hitler once asked the Germans if it was raining in their place The Germans replied ""No, it's hail Hitler"""

"""When I call your name say 'omnipresent.'"" - teacher to class full of Gods"

"I wish gyms had a ""montage"" option"

"I don't know what I'm more afraid of: killing myself or never doing it. Clowns definitely scare me the most, though."

"Those rappers seem to have an unhealthy interest in female dogs, don't they?"

"Why couldn't the BMW fit into a narrow parking stall at Target? because it was being driven by a woman"

"When I was a kid I put paper in an oven to get it to burn... ...but the knob only went up to 450 degrees Fahrenheit."

"Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour ? Pupil: Because it can't sit down !"

"One time dad asked what my five-year plan was, and I said ""death or becoming a pirate king"" and he threw my cat Alan at me"

"I have a double major in Psychology and Geography. I lead the field in research on glacial depressions."