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Joke of the Day

"My iPhone won't even recognize my fingerprint unless it's got crumbs on it."

"Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Because every time she gets to 69 she gets a little frog stuck in her throat."

"Woo hoo, July 4th wknd! Popped opened a beer, unbottoned my pants, put my feet up. My boss keeps looking at me weird, though."

"Pinniped humor So a baby seal walks into a club..."

"How do you listen to Taylor Swift and N.W.A one after the other? Make a mixed tape."

"The soldier survived pepper spray and mustard gas He is now a seasoned veteran."

"I won the dirty joke contest at scout camp with this What's the best thing about twenty-two year olds? There's twenty of them. It's better said then written."

"What does NAACP stand for? National Association of Apes Called People."

"What do you call Kanye dressed as Kermit? I don't know, but it's not Yeezy being green."

"A young boy goes to his father and says ""Dad, I think my gym teacher is gay"". His father says ""Why do think that?"" The boy responds ""Because he closes his eyes when he kisses me."""