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Joke of the Day

"Where would an eccentric beverage go if it wanted to watch married couplesfight and read high quality humor columns? To the Drink Quirks Wed Fight."

"ME: fine, judge me. judge me for loving too much, for caring too much- JUDGE: you're on trial for murder ME: for murdering too much"

"What does Tupperware and a sealion have in common? They both like a tight seal."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Ada ! Ada who ? Ada'mond is forever !"

"Dyslexic Superbowl watchers were probably disappointed when they saw football instead of a superb owl."

"11 million Americans spend half their income on steam ... In June."

"A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him."

"How to prove JokeExplainBot is actually a human?"

"What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken? Roost beef!"

"What do we say to the god of procrastination? Not today."