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Joke of the Day

"ME: fine, judge me. judge me for loving too much, for caring too much- JUDGE: you're on trial for murder ME: for murdering too much"

"A termite walks into a bar... He says, ""Is the bar tender here?"""

"What is better then roses on a piano? Tulips on your organ."

"Jokes on jokes Why did the cabbage whistle? Because it saw the salad dressing"

"If you're robbing my house, just bring a second guy to eat a pizza in front of my dog while you take whatever you want."

"Someone said my clothes were gay I said ""yeah they came out of the closet this morning"""

"What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? Dam."

"What's a lawyer's favorite type of cake? Torte"

"The last time I wore a red shirt, I went to Target and laid off 8 people in the morning team huddle."

"Today was my first time handling a... ....wet pussy. I didn't realize the risk involved! The cat scratched the shit out of me and eventually escaped from its bath."