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Joke of the Day

"*talking into the phone, loudly enough that I know those ladies can hear me* WHATS THAT? MY SPACESHIP IS READY? GREAT, THANKS BARACK. OBAMA."

Next Joke
 
"Doctor, doctor! I think I'm a pair of curtains! Well that's more of a mental health issue, I'm not really qualified to help you."
"What is the difference between a robot and a sandwich? Everything. These two objects have nothing in common."
"What do American beers and Sex in a Canoe have in common? They are both fucking close to water!"
"Spreads legs... Nope Spreads two other legs .... Nope Spreads two others .... Dammit, no Spreads last two.... BINGO!! - spider sex"
"So I peed on my phone last night man was I pissed."
"A hooker and a priest walk into a spaceship... It lasts for 1 season and a movie and everyone throws a fit when it won't come back."
"Man walks into a bakery Says to the baker ""I'd like to buy a wasp please."" The baker says ""Sir, we don't sell wasps."" The man replies ""Well there's one in your shop window!"""
"What do you call a Korean with special needs? Special K"
"Coffee shop barista thinks I look homeless because I'm fashionable. Joke's on her. I look homeless because I'm lazy."
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