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Joke of the Day
"I wish I was as skinny as I was the first time I thought I was fat."
Next Joke
"""Everyday I'm mumblin'""-Bane"
"What's a crime that doesn't exist now, but might become illegal in 100+ years? Posting this question to r/askreddit."
"The Incomplete Surveys Institute concluded that 78% of every women"
"What has 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck"
"Just heard a lady in Target scream ""WE DON'T BUY THINGS JUST TO BUY THINGS"" at her kids and now I kinda wish she'd have a talk with me also."
"I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, ""Got any shoes you're not using?"
"Apparently a good way to get asked to leave the gym is to move a treadmill behind someone on a stationary bike and pretend you're angrily chasing them."
"My girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, i thought she was joking.. ..and then i saw her face."
"How many Arabs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1.. 2.. 3.. BOOM"