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Joke of the Day

"Why does a dog lick it's balls? Because they're delicious. What? You've never tried them? You're missing out."

"Why is all of the music made in North Korea just absolutely terrible? They've got no Seoul."

"I went out the other night and tried a pelican burger for the first time.... It was amazing but the bill was enormous!!"

"Last year I turned my life around and lost over 200 lbs People ask me what's your secret? And I'm like ""It's simple, I dumped my girlfriend."""

"Pepsi and Coke can't even be in the same restaurant together and society wants us all to get along. Pffftt."

"Did you know, the cave where Jesus was resurrected... contained a large quantity of hydrating body lotion? He was moist-jew-rising."

"An apple a day keeps no one away unless you have meticulously good aim."

"A surface topologist sits in a coffee shop thinking deeply about his research... he takes a sip from his doughnut."

"Now that I have an adult coloring book, most arguments with my 3 yr old are over fridge space."

"Does your state have less water than California? Drought it."