171983

Joke of the Day

"I know this Ethiopian family who are so poor they had to eat clay to survive. Afterwards they were all shitting bricks."

"What do we want? ROCK HARD ABS! When do we want them? THE DAY AFTER THE HOLIDAYS ARE OVER!"

"I am starting a sanctuary for oversized marine mammals. It's called Habitat for Huge Manatees."

"*phone rings* SATAN: Hey I bought your soul on Craigslist last week? ME: No returns SATAN: Please. It's making me sad"

"Why are spiders so unproductive? Because they hang out on the web all day!"

"My life is a circus... I once juggled three fire-breathing girlfriends. Bah-da-BING!"

"Have you seen The Dark Knight Rises yet? I hear it's killer."

"I tried being selfless. It's not for me."

"How do you spell ""Pringles"" in Spanish? Pringles"

"A mitochondrian walks into a bar and asks for a cup of energy. The barman says ""that'll be ATP"""