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Joke of the Day

"people of reddit... You copy my jokes, You paste my links, You bury my comments. Godmam it, and my mom made every one pie, sleep over at my house..."

"What happens when a tree masturbates? It nuts"

"Why did the student take Viagra while preparing for his exam? His professor said he should study hard."

"No I don't want to ride in a basket beneath your giant flying fire tent."

"Alcohol is the worst thing in the world... My friend had a lot last night and ended up saying ""I love you"" to his Own Wife !!!"

"Carefully choosing my grocery check out line based on the back of who's head I want to beam hate into for the next 15 minutes."

"What do you call unleavened cheese? Matzahrella"

"I would have been grounded for saying 66% of Dick Van Dyke's name."

"TIL if you buy the new MacBook Pro There is no escape."

"[funeral] He looks so natural. Ya, but he looks a little stiff. *raises from the dead* ""That's what... *gargle* ...she said."" *dies again*"