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Joke of the Day

"Why did the student take Viagra while preparing for his exam? His professor said he should study hard."

"We all know you love your boyfriend, but we'd all appreciate it if you'd SHUT THE FUCK UP"

"What is the difference between Santa Claus and the Jews? The Jews go up the chimney."

"what if you looked as good as your best selfie all the time wouldnt that be wonderful"

"[at a bar] CUTE GIRL: *grabs my arm* hey there ME: *mouth full of food* did you know a lobster on a kabob is called a kablobster"

"What do you call somebody with no body and no nose? Nobody knows."

"What does it sound like when two old people have sex? Snap, crackle, pop."

"I got pulled over for running a stop sign. The cop says, ""Didn't you see the stop sign?"" Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read."

"Why does 0=1 COS(0)=1"

"5yo's pretending she's a tourist at a hotel. All good, but I draw the line when my services are criticized because the ""toilet's too cold."""