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Joke of the Day

"Do you know what that white shit in bird shit is Shit..."

"I spend a lot of time contemplating the mysteries of life, like why the wall the natives built to keep Kong out had a Kong-sized door in it."

"I don't know who's worse, the people who sign their cats' names on Christmas cards, or the cats who refuse to sign."

"Why did Ellen Pao try to sue the users of Reddit for gender discrimination/ sexual harassment? Because they were forming a massive circle-jerk around her"

"What's the difference between inlaws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted!"

"How many Mexicans Does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just Juan"

"What do you do if you are driving your car in central Manhattan and you see a space man? Park in it, of course."

"If you're having luftballon problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 luftballons and whatever whatever I don't speak German"

"You'd think these people on Grey's Anatomy would've already figured out that a major disaster is going to happen every year around May."

"Q: What's black white and read all over? A: A newspaper."