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Joke of the Day

"Last rites? Over my dead body..."

"creating an app called Friends With Pools. It's exactly what you think it is."

"What do you call a pickled aardvark? A jarredvark!"

"At Comic Con, all I could think was how happy these people's moms must be to have the house to themselves for a few hours."

"I'm not sure churches are the best places for PokeStops... a priest just asked me in and offered me a Slowpoke edit: whoops, rip inbox. don't get sucked in by priests, kiddies."

"What do you call a soldier that got attacked by mustard gas and pepper spray?? A seasoned veteran"

"Waiter my lunch is talking to me ! Well you did ask for a tongue sandwich !"

"""I'm half black and I'm trying to decide who I want to have kids with. Do I want them to have every advantage in life, or be able to dance?"""

"50 blondes Q:What do you call fifty blondes lined up ear-to-ear? A: A wind tunnel. #ThugLyfe"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amin ! Amin who ? Amin man!"