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Joke of the Day

"Per Wikipedia, there are two kinds of scorpions. One can sting and kill you like a spider, the other can sing and rock you like a hurricane"

"I have the talent of getting tired without doing nothing."

"I keep missing my ex-girlfriend. But my aim is getting better."

"[traffic court] Your honor, I'm here to dispute 4 of my 5 tickets JUDGE: Repeat infractions? Ok, I'm here to dispute 4/5 of my tickets"

"We woke up to a noise. I grabbed a bat. He grabs a can of body spray. ""Really? Gunna make this burglar irresistible to women huh?"""

"What did the robot say to the other robot as they destroyed each other? ""Nothing personal."""

"What is the difference between a refrigerator and a gay man? A refrigerator doesn't fart when you take your meat out of it."

"Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party? To find a tight seal"

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but it takes a long time, and the lightbulb has to want to change."

"What is the sun's favourite kind of food? Sol food"