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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when you can't see your skin? Pore resolution"

"What does a sperm whale say after getting a massage? (NSFW) You're whale-cum!"

"Growing a beard comes from laziness. If you ladies think that's sexy I have some laundry on my bedroom floor that'll turn you on."

"Bear tip: If a bear is mauling you to death, challenge it to a maths quiz instead (mauling people to death is against the rules in quizzes)"

"An Ethiopian dance party Tape a piece of bread to the ceiling ""Put you hands in the air like you just don't care"""

"Ever since my toaster has been broken I have been feeling unwell. I guess I must be lack toast intolerant."

"What does a queen bee do when she burps ? Issues a royal pardon !"

"By saying you want a sandwich after sex you're letting me know you suck at sex because you expect me to be able to walk afterwards."

"I haven't seen my mom in a while My mom decided she'd rather be a man. Then we stopped seeing her much; That tends to happen with transparents."

"Me: ""Dude, I brought another dress for you to clean."" Dry cleaner: *takes off headphone* ""Sorry, come again?"" Me: ""No, mustard."""