171586

Joke of the Day

"I Don't Nap Because I Have Tentonitish I fall asleep around 2 and don't wake up till ten tonightish"

"Making good jokes about the clitoris is difficult: It's really sensitive."

"Are you a rational function? because I could ride your asymptote to infinity."

"Why can't there be a Santa Pig? Pigs don't fit in chimneys."

"I treat women well cause I'm a real man. Also, if I'm nice to them maybe they'll come over and kill this spider for me"

"Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down a hill and turned into a field"

"Cubs fans last night looked more distraught than Patrick Kane's last blind date."

"People always ask why i wear a hoodie in the middle of June. I tell them ""Winter is coming."""

"My six pack is protected by a layer of fat. Rather a few layers."

"What's Donald Trump's favorite dessert? Vladimir Puddin"