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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down a hill and turned into a field"
Next Joke
"They should make condoms out of bubble wrap. *pop pop* Hee-hee! *pop pop pop* Hee-hee! *pop pop pop* Hee-hee-oh! *pop* That was fun!"
"Sorry I embarrassed you when I tried to draft Smaug, but I totally misunderstood the concept of a Fantasy football league."
"A hurricane is like a woman. When they come, they are wet, crazy, and wild. But when they leave, they take your house and your car."
"My girlfriend complained that I never listen to her. At least that's what I think she said."
"I'm pretty bad at building fences Oops, wrong place for this post."
"Last year I asked a girl out, this year I'd ask her to marry me but... the restraining order is still in effect..."
"I trick people that I know Spanish by quoting fragments of Spanish songs I know, la bamba."
"If you feel trapped in your body with no way out, just think about that guy in the middle of a conga line."
"On Christmas morning I want to eat Eggs Benedict out of a hubcap. Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."