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Joke of the Day
"A bard walks up to a bored leprechaun. How many tunes should the bard play? Fortunes."
Next Joke
"On a scale of corn to manycorn how impressed are you by my new corn-based number system"
"Donald Trump is sponsoring a new breakfast side dish. Dic-tater tots."
"Where do you go when you need a sperm donation? Sasha Grey's mouth"
"From a shark's perspective, Jaws is a lot like Home Alone."
"Patriots new theme song [could it be anything else?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uuzmub5PXNQ)"
"What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? A washing machine won't follow you around after you dump your load in it."
"I went camping with swingers It was fucking intense"
"""I'm cold"" - a talking ice cube or a woman"
"An Indian man on his death bed. ""Sanjita, my wife, are you here?"" ""Yes, my husband.""""My son and daughter, are you here?"" ""Yes, Papa.""""Then who's in the fucking shop?"""