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Joke of the Day

"What do I have in common with Franz Kafka? Neither of us have finished The Castle."

"Why did the orange go to the doctor? Because she wasn't peeling very well... All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here"

"If this isn't funny, I won't be able to live with myself I'll have to get another apartment."

"Some worlds just want to watch the men burn Like hell, and the sun."

"My girlfriend thinks my jokes are stupid, but she still wants to have sex with me. So, who's stupid now?"

"If I'm ever kidnapped and forced at gunpoint to recite the ABC's without singing the song tell my family I loved them"

"11: Dad, what's your spirit animal? Mine's a tiger. Me: Remember that chubby mouse named Gus in the baby-tee from Cinderella? 11: ..."

"I hate being bipolar... But it's also pretty awesome sometimes."

"If Satan ever lost his hair... There would be hell toupee."

"When I die I want my body to be donated to science ...but more specifically, a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life."