171417

Joke of the Day

"How many ""friend-zoned"" guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just compliment it and get pissed when it wont screw."

"Why are camels known as ships of the desert? ... Because they are full of Arab semen."

"What is the difference between red wine and women I let the red wine breathe when I'm having sex with it."

"What does mosquito say when its parents die? shhhhhh.....it !!"

"PEOPLE WITH CHRONICALLY MOIST HANDS: When you have dry lips, rub them on your palms. I call it Lip palm. It's free."

"[argument w/girlfriend] HER: you know what your problem is? ME: no, *grabs pen and begins taking notes* but i'm about to find out"

"Why is Divorce so Expensive? Because it's worth it."

"Guy talking to a girl Guy: I have a joke about my penis. Ah... forget get, it's too long. Girl: I have a joke about my vagina. You won't get it."

"There are two types of people in the world: Those who like pastries... And those who donut."

"We have rappers who used to be pimps and gangsters telling us not to download music because it's stealing."