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Joke of the Day

"What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? (LONG) Damn."

"Why Doesn't Humpty Dumpty Believe in Anything? Because he's an EGGnostic!"

"What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm."

"I would like to thank the kind stranger I met on the bus this morning for teaching me the meaning of the word 'abundance'. It means a lot."

"Why was the Queen of Horses hated by her subjects? Because she was too ahoof."

"The strangest thing happened. A coworker who always says, ""Living the dream"" was mysteriously stabbed 37 times in the neck with my car keys."

"How did the man find out his sister was actually his half-sister? He saw her penis"

"Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar.. ...and doesn't"

"You let your eyes unfocus. The entire page coalesces into a cheery, bespectacled face. Waldo is the entire crowd scene. We are all Waldo."

"A new joke really racist. Jews are so weak,that the only way for them to be fast is to inject them with salmon water.And they are so cheap that they think 1 penny is like 5 million dollars."