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Joke of the Day

"I hate when someone asks me where I see myself 5 years from now when I don't even remember where the hell I was 2 days ago."

"How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None... They just sit in the dark and bitch about it."

"My ex wrote to me: Can you delete my number? I responded: Who is this?"

"Why do chemists love bad jokes? Their jobs get a lot easier when there are no reactions"

"What do you call someone with no arms? Disarmed."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bert ! Bert who ? Bert the dinner !"

"What does an egg say at a party? omelette"

"They should make a Bollywood movie about a poor Punjabi guy that wins a singing contest against all odds. It'd be called Singh: A Song"

"""Hey man, the hot girl from class winked at me today!"" ""Really, bro?"" ""Yeah, with both eyes too!"""

"ISSUE: is the road runner wile e coyote's son FOR: thhey, seem to respect each other, on some level AGAINST: one of them is a dog"