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Joke of the Day

"I lost my job at the suicide hotline. Apparently reverse psychology isn't very well accepted."

"Being handed a flyer is the offline version of a pop-up ad."

"7: I need a pet pig so I can always have bacon. Me: There are some fundamental flaws in your plan but I like the way you think."

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea? One shucks between fits."

"Why did the trout leave the cult? They were too sacrifishal"

"I read an article saying that if you drink every day you are an alcoholic. Thank God, I only drink every night."

"In Texas we pronounce it ""nu-que-lur"" I'm often harassed about how I pronounce nuclear but I think fair is fair. If Yankees can have silent letters I don't see how come we can't have invisible ones!"

"if accidentally consumed consult a doctor immediately, phew good thing i did it on purpose"

"You know what they say about camping... It's in tents!"

"If I had a nickel for every GEICO commercial I've ever seen, I could buy us all car insurance."