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Joke of the Day

"I'm actually reasonably happy with Trump's presidency right now..... after all, he's had the nuclear codes for a couple of days now and hasn't tweeted them yet."

"What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer?"

"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."

"My sister didnt think I could make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pastah'"

"[stop light] It will turn green in 5 4 3 2 1.. And Now It Will Turn Greeeeeeeen *turns green* Ah yes nailed it."

"A mormon checks into a hotel. On seeing there are video channels available in his room, he says ""I trust the porn is disabled."" The receptionist replies, ""No, it's just regular porn, you sicko!"""

"What's the difference between the Serengeti and the White House? In the Serengeti there are African lions, but in the White House there's a lyin' African."

"I like my women how I like my coffee. Without a penis."

"Hold.. Hold.. Hold.. CHARGE!!!!! -Ice at the bottom of a glass"

"The Sun is similar to Beer Sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Beer rises in yeast and sets in the waist ."