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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between the Serengeti and the White House? In the Serengeti there are African lions, but in the White House there's a lyin' African."

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"Whats the difference between a woman and a plate? You can lick a plate dry"
"Euchre is a lot like sex... If you have a good hand, you can go it alone."
"""Do you have anything with, ya know, even more denim?"" ""These jeans are 100% denim."" ""I require more."" ""Mr. Leno, this is getting weird."""
"Sorry I ate that banana so slowly at your grandpa's funeral."
"A Blackjack dealer is arrested for pedophilia... He will hit on anything 16 and under."
"I'm good at multitasking and procrastinating, which means right now there are at least 28 things that I'm putting off until later."
"priest: ""does anyone here know why these two should not be wed?"" me: ""SHE LEAVES THE VOLUME ON ODD NUMBERS"" priest: [slowly closes bible]"
"Wanted to do something patriotic today so I bought a gun and fifty Big Macs."
"Why will the columbine high basket ball team lose the tournament? Because they lost their 2 best shooters"
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