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Joke of the Day
"If at first you don't succeed, then maybe you should do it the way I told you to the first time."
Next Joke
"Five years in, my marriage is like Girls Gone Wild: after a few drinks the cracks start to appear."
"Which fraternity was George Lucas in during College? Psi Phi."
"So there's a guy at my work that cleans all of the new stock that comes off the trucks before it hits the sales floor... We call him the palette cleanser."
"I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1."
"Why are gay men so rude? Because they're fucking assholes."
"On second thought this ""Thug's Life"" tattoo probably shouldn't have been done in Comic Sans."
"What did the snail say when put on top of a turtle? Weeeeeeeeeeee"
"After decades of study, scientists finally decode whale song. ""Moo. Moo. Moooooooooo. Moo."""
"How many cynics does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter. Lightbulb is going to die anyway."