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Joke of the Day

"What kind of outfit says ""I want you to let me stand in your group so I don't look like a loser but I don't want to talk to any of you""?"

"Reddit is like a newspaper... ...all of the headlines happened yesterday."

"Donation A man knocked on my door the other day asking for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I have him a glass of water"

"Which weather features do druggies like most? Highs"

"Why the hell would I use turn signals? I know where we're going."

"what do you call cheese thats not yours. someone elses cheese. what else would it be."

"Teachers at school: She seems to be expressing an inner need for control. Teachers at a bar: I want to punch that kid in the face."

"(I heard this one a while back, sorry) Why can't you use a the restroom at a Beatles reunion concert? Because there is no John."

"Yes, Firefox. I will abort the script but only to save the life of the web page."

"If your urine is clear, you're hydrated. If it's yellow, you're dehydrated. If it's white, you're shaking your dick too much."