171002

Joke of the Day

"One time I called my teacher ""mom"" and she looked so confused and said ""I'm not your mom."" It made the rest of homeschooling really awkward."

"I will convert to your religion if it makes this rash go away."

"Isn't it amazing that human brains are still faster than supercomputers? Eventually they'll start putting wheels on the machines though."

"I got arrested for killing a black man. They charged me with impersonating a police officer."

"What travels down an alley and has holes in it? A bowling ball. Or Bruce Wayne's parents."

"When it comes to volunteering on my gynecology residency, I'm the first to put my hand up."

"""What aisle has the milk?"" ""Sir, this is a library."" *whispers* ""What aisle has the milk?"""

"What's got 2 thumbs and is worse than Donald Trump? No, seriously. I'm asking."

"There's always some truth behind: Just kidding, Knowledge behind: I don't know, Emotion behind: I don't care & Pain behind: It's okay."

"I haven't seen the democrats this mad at republicans... ... Since they freed the slaves"