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Joke of the Day

"New Years Resolutions I've decided on a few attainable resolutions... * put on some weight * exercise less * watch some TV, play some computer games * procrastinate (maybe I'll do that later)"

"What's the difference between an introverted physicist and an extroverted physicist? An extroverted physicist looks at *your* shoes when they're talking to you."

"I was hitting the random button at the top what are the chances of getting ""Ask Reddit"" 10 times in a row?"

"An Irishman walks into a bar Every night and then he stays there until it closes."

"Dear Google Maps, Don't insult me by telling me to head ""southwest"". If I knew where southwest was, I wouldn't be using you. Kthnxbye"

"I fear all this talk of llamas & dresses has distracted us from the important fact that there is video of Madonna falling off a stage."

"What did the Asian janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? ""Supplies!"""

"A woman in labor is screaming profanities at her husband from her hospital bed. He says, ""Hey, don't blame me! I wanted to stick it in your ass but NO, you said that might hurt!"""

"Are you African? [NSFW] Because you are a frican bitch. Zing~!"

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. She holds it up to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her."