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Joke of the Day

"What did the Asian janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? ""Supplies!"""

"I just whispered ""Come at me, bro"" to a bug and it ran towards me, so now I'm in my car driving away from my old life."

"I took a really sloppy poo today... My ass was wiped more times than Ian Watkins' search history"

"because yoda was in charge of the jokes why was the punchline in the title"

"Sorry, I'm out of my mind at the moment, please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. "

"The local Chinese restaurant has creme brulee, but it's not on the menu. It's Secret Asian Flan"

"Replace his deodorant with a glue stick so he thinks of you every time he tries to raise his arm to put around the shoulders of another girl"

"Said this at dinner last night. Bit creepy, but laughs were had. ""He may die a virgin but he ain't gonna be buried one."""

"When is my wife's favorite day to make love? Tomorrow"

"WebMD would be more accurate if every search result diagnosed you as a hypochondriac."