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Joke of the Day

"Dear Google Maps, Don't insult me by telling me to head ""southwest"". If I knew where southwest was, I wouldn't be using you. Kthnxbye"

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"What do you call a German sausage fest? Wurst orgy ever."
"[sees kid crying in grocery store] hey little guy [kneels down to his level] Can you please move you're blocking the Cinnamon Toast Crunch?"
"I'm not Racist Because I'm not raciest because racism is a crime and crimes are for black people."
"What do Derek Jeter and girls' asses have in common? They're both overrated bags of shit"
"What do you call an Egyptian spine adjuster? A Cairopractor"
"*rubs a lamp* Genie appears and asks for a wish ""I don't wanna die virgin"" *Genie grants immortality"
"What do you do after sodomizing a baldy? Just put them back in the craddle."
"I try not to criticize those who practice incest After all, it's all relative."
"What do two people with Parkinson's disease do when they meet for the first time? They shake hands."