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Joke of the Day

"Apparently Mr. Skeltal joined the band Imagine Dragons. I heard they were going back to their doots."

"On Gun Control Yesterday I Called The Fire Arms, Tobacco, Alcohol And Asked The Agent What Fully Automatic Weapon Goes With A Shot Of Burbon. Sean O' Talk Show Host SOS Computer Talk"

"What instrument do Mexicans hate? The TRUMPet."

"Patient: I always see spots before my eyes. Doctor: Didn't the new glasses help? Patient: Sure now I see the spots much clearer."

"Quick Joke # 3 Husband is praying before going to bed... Wife: What are you praying for? Husband: For guidance. Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!!!"

"The French name for I Can't Believe It's Not Butter translates literally to False Butter Has Entered Our Home"

"I saw Stevie Wonder at the airport, but he didn't see me. *(True story, courtesy of Dad)*"

"What's the difference between a midget and a venereal disease? One's a cunning runt and the other's a running cunt."

"I'd like to make a toast... Someone get me some bread and butter"

"What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs hanging over a window? Kurt and Rod"