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Joke of the Day

"You follow me. I follow you. You unfollow me. I unfollow you. You follow me. I follow you. You unfollow me. I block you. ""A Game of Phones"""

"Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood."

"CONSERVE ENERGY: How would you feel if someone turned you on and then left?"

"What do you call the god of cheese? Cheesus"

"The internet is just another location for people to be wrong about things."

"TIL that a Russian submarine was accidentally destroyed by a Russian warship that mistook it for an enemy submarine. Oops, wrong sub!"

"Read the tweet above this one and then the tweet below it. People paid FORTY-FIVE DOLLARS PER SHARE FOR THIS."

"Cat lovers Their pets also qualify for the obnoxious neighbor award."

"How many short term memory loss patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side.."

"Battered women... ...sounds delicious. But that doesn't make it right!"