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Joke of the Day

"I changed my last name on Facebook to ""dis"", so I can start disliking the stupid stuff people post"

"Boys go to Mars to get more candy bars. Girls go to Venus to get more penis."

"Chuck Norris's sweat has burned holes in concrete."

"I quit my job as a prostitute because nobody gave a fuck."

"Top Six Uses Of Strategic Planning: 6. Politics 5. Sports 4. Investing 3. Business 2. Military 1. Returning home from guys/girls night out"

"Today I've decided to rename things in the office to start with ""i"" like Apple. There's iStapler, iPostitnotes, iWishitwasfriday..."

"Are these potato chips so much healthier b/c they're Baked? My brother is baked all the time, and he's got diabetes."

"What's the difference between a bug and an insect? Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot."

"What do you call two guys using the same urinal? Peers"

"Just ran outside in a t shirt & panties to save a bird from my cat's mouth. My kid thinks I'm a hero. My neighbor wants to have drinks later"