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Joke of the Day

"Just ran outside in a t shirt & panties to save a bird from my cat's mouth. My kid thinks I'm a hero. My neighbor wants to have drinks later"

"What do you call 10 lawyers chained to the bottom of the ocean? A good start."

"Now I'm trying to see if I can hear the ocean - me, as a gynecologist"

"What's the different between a pilot and a pepperoni pizza? I give a shit when my pizza is burnt."

"My dog is entertained chasing his tail and I'm bored with a device that gives me access to infinite knowledge..."

"Whats the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead babies? My dick."

"Apparently the unbuttoning of a shirt and letting your hair down for a cop only works for women."

"A student brings a slingshot to algebra class and fires gum at the professor It was a weapon of math disruption."

"A guy at work just bought me ice cream and now we're making out. I've never been this intimate with ice cream before."

"Why are Ice Cream Truck music so loud ? NSFW To muffle the sound of the captive kids that are held captive"