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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris's sweat has burned holes in concrete."

"Do you know why the Easter Bunny hides his eggs? Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's been FUCKING CHICKENS!!!"

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of paws and the other has a pause at the end of clause"

"What's the object of a Jewish football game? To get the quarter back!"

"Why did Jesus lose his Halo? Nobody wanted to play on his team any longer after he had a 0 and 2 kill/death ratio and it took him 3 days to respawn."

"*nervously plays with tie* ""I'm sorry. I'm no good during job interviews."" That's ok, just let go of my tie and go on your side of the desk."

"*Knocks on door* Hey open up. You didn't reply to my last 43 texts & then you tweeted about a guy who keeps annoying you. You need help?"

"Our forefathers fought against British rule so anyone can become president. For the first time in 240 years, we're regretting that decision."

"Bad news A doctor says to his patient: 'I'm afraid I've got bad news for you. You've got cancer and Alzheimer's disease'. The patient responds: 'Well, at least I don't have cancer'."

"Pope John Paul is being sainted. What a snub to Pope George Ringo."