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Joke of the Day

"How did Harry Potter get to the bottom of the hill? By running! J.K. Rowling"

"My friend is addicted to drinking brake fluids... but he tells me that he can stop any time."

"TIFU by being Cuban and attending Fidel Castro's funeral. Now the FBI lists me as ""public enemy number Juan""."

"What is good on pizza, but not good on pussy? The cheese and crust."

"I heard that there was a new food court in Coruscant Its called Admiral Ackbar's Admirable Snack Bar"

"Math problems are like women If they're under 18 just do them in your head"

"If alcohol kills germs and laughter is the best medicine, I'm the healthiest mofo on this planet."

"Why do toilets flush after getting pissed on? They get embarrassed."

"*Deletes 34 unheard voicemail messages from phone. *Adds ""extremely organized"" to resume."

"When I was a kid the swear jar at my house was always empty because my sister was a goddamn fucking thief."