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Joke of the Day

"What do you call and autistic child caught in a house fire? A baked potato"

"Why did the cab driver did not get time for his family? Because he was Uber busy."

"Chinese takeaway - 17 Delivery charge - 1 Realising the idiots have forgot one of your containers - Riceless"

"Hey baby, wanna violate the Pauli Exclusion Principle with me?"

"Pretty cool that Sarah Connor saved mankind by raw-dogging a total stranger claiming to be a time traveller at the height of the AIDS scare."

"I wish boxing was like wrestling so when the ref was distracted Manny Pacquiao would run in & hit Floyd Mayweather with a Stone Cold Stunner"

"Mr Bean bought a cow Do U Know Why Mr.BEAN Bought A Brown Cow??? 2 Get Chocolate Milk!!"

"How can you tell if someone with parkinsons has hypothermia? You can't. That's what makes it so funny."

"How do you keep a black person from drowning? You don't"

"[at a bar] CUTE GIRL: *grabs my arm* hey there ME: *mouth full of food* did you know a lobster on a kabob is called a kablobster"