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Joke of the Day

"I'm sure everything will be fine. I'm sure of lots of things that are wrong. I'm highly fallible."

"While my husband is gone I was cleaning...the Nutella jar. He will be impressed at how I gained 10lbs in 4hrs."

"Someone asked me today where I'll be in 5 years... Seriously? I'm wearing glasses, you know I don't have 2020 vision."

"Which is the most silky planet? Satin!"

"So a photon checks into a hotel... Bellman says ""Sir may I take your bags?"" Photon replies ""Nah... I'm traveling light"""

"Guy: [pulls out knife] Me: But I'm allergic to stainless steel Guy: [stabs me] Me: Noooo I'll get a rash"

"What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake of course!"

"There are 10 Types of People in the World... Those that understand binary...and those that don't."

"Parents are worried about two things these days 1. What their sons download 2. What their daughters upload"

"What do you call a robbery of Italian ice cream? Grand Theft Gelato"