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Joke of the Day

"Parents are worried about two things these days 1. What their sons download 2. What their daughters upload"

"I hope everyone on this flight covers for me by standing and announcing ""No, I am Fartacus!"" as we deplane."

"Why did the sperm cross the road? Cause I put on the wrong sock this morning"

"I'm making a film about emos. I really need to stop saying ""cut!"" at the end of each scene."

"(original) What hit song did Phil Collins write the after a big dinner at an Indian restaurant? I can feel it coming In The Air Tonight, Oh Lord!"

"4: Let's hunt turkeys, Daddy. Me: How do we do that? 4: Put up a big sign that says, ""Come here, Turkeys!"" I might be raising Elmer Fudd."

"My car broke down today. It confessed to a series of hit-and-run murders back in 2006."

"A doctor, a midget, a monk and an indian is at a bar when ... ... a blonde suddenly walks in. M. Night Shyamalan shouts ""Cut!"". The blonde fainted."

"I'm a schizophrenic And so am I"

"Hillary was shown a video of her flip-flopping on issues all over her career. At first, she was upset. Now she says she's ok with it."